Stupid Cat

The cat box, the cat box.  What can I say about the cat box or as I like to lovingly refer to it, the very bain of my existence.  Stupid litter box.  Why must I have a plastic box full of cat poop staring at me every time I saunter into my bathroom?  Stupid cat.  Why can't cats just go outside like dogs?  Why, might you ask, does Dazey the He-She Cat sit on the windowsill and snicker at Buddy the Wonder Dog as Buddy squats on the back lawn?

Cats have it all figured out, that's why.  "Oh ummm...you there, human person, scoop my poop and then run and fetch me my squeaky mouse.  Good owner!  Now pet me while I discreetly sink my claws into your expensive leather sofa and distract you with my oh-so-innocent purring.  Ahhh...You human people are so easy.  I will expect my kitty kibble promptly at 5:30 sharp or make no mistake, there will be more couch clawing."

Stupid cat.