This year’s Academy Awards are now history. Quite frankly, I don’t really care much about watching the opulent extravaganza anymore except that I enjoy seeing the red carpet arrivals and all the beautiful designer gowns and the only real reason I stayed tuned after the fashion show this year was the fact that we had actually seen several of the films nominated for best picture, such as The Descendants, Moneyball, and The Help.
I was so happy for Octavia Spencer when she won for her role as Minnie in The Help and a little disappointed that the other best actress statue did not go to Viola Davis for the same movie. I just knew they were going to call Viola’s name and when Meryl Streep was announced instead, I said exactly what she assumed we all said when she accepted her award, “Not her AGAIN!” I really like Meryl Streep and all but c’mon, give someone else a chance.
Anyway, I believe the star of the night was not any of the human thespians. I think it was Uggie, the cute little dog from “The Artist”. He is a Jack Russell Terrier, the same breed as our very own Buddy the Wonder Dog. The way I see it, Buddy the Wonder Dog no longer has any excuses not to be earning his keep around here. If a 10 year old rescued pound pooch can be trained to earn boo coo bucks and be in an Oscar winning movie then, by golly, Buddy can stop his begging trash-digging ways long enough to get himself an agent and earn those expensive chew bones. If Uggie can do it, so can Buddy. Maybe...
If any agents happen to be reading this, Buddy can do lots of tricks. He can speak on command, dance - sort of, shake hands, stay - sort of, lay down with a hand signal and be told to “shhhh” with a hand signal. He is very talented and probably could be taught anything with a piece of steak in your hand. Heck, now that I think about it, I think I could be taught anything with a piece of steak or better yet, a ruched silk designer gown worth more than my house. Now there is an incentive. I believe I might even be trainable if a couture Givenchy or that gorgeous periwinkle Armani number that Penelope Cruz wore, is dangled in front of me.
The only dress that I could not be persuaded to beg for is that shiny thing that J-Lo wore, not that I could have filled out the top half properly anyway. Would someone please tell her we get it? She has boobs, isn’t she sexy, blah, blah, blah, etc. Please cover ‘em up already as all the guys were just waiting for a malfunction to happen. Some on Twitter were even saying there was a small slip of the n__, but I think it may have just been wishful thinking on the part of the male population.
And speaking of gullible members of the male populous, Brad Pitt of course was there accompanied by the sea witch, ooops I mean Ange"legga" (see I Blame It All on Angelina ).
I know it is kind of mean to say but seriously, she just makes it too easy to make the comparison.
Would someone please dangle a sandwich in front of her and then tell her to stick her leg back in?