My home's level of cleanliness. The way I see it there are 3 levels of cleanliness in my house:
- Dream on Martha. This level has never actually been attained in the nest, but a girl can dream can't she? This is the the one where my house looks like something out of Southern Living and there is not a trace of dust, chewed up dog toys, and/or candy and chip bags stuffed under my couch cushions. Oh, and Donna Reed would be vacuming her already clean carpets in pearls and high heels just because she's bored.
- Clean just enough so we are not embarrassed if someone sets foot through the front door. This is the most frequent level reached and the one somewhat reached today. It only requires minimum effort downstairs around the front of the house and air freshener spray to cover up the stink. The upstairs? Ha - that's a whole other world. Looks like Hiroshima.
- Watch out kids. Here comes the wrecking ball. I hate to say it, but there have been upon several occasions when this level has been attained in the nest. We shall not speak of this level. Ever...
Jon Bon Jovi in an Advil commercial this morning:
That's right. You heard me correctly. Say it ain't so! I do not want to live in a world where advertisers feel Mr. Bon Jovi cannot live on just a prayer anymore and requires Advil. Tommy and Gena didn't need no stinkin' Advil. What's next - Richie hawking Geritol? Tico purchasing the Clapper from late night TV? Run Dave Run. Oy... I have decided, mostly to console myself, that the reason Jon Boy needs the Advil is for headaches and nothing else. The headaches are probably brought on by his now-teenage daughter rolling her eyes at him as he tries to convince her how cool he is, "...but I'm JON BON JOVI darn it" and she nonchalantly replies, "Oh Dad. You're so 1983"...
Just realizing this morning that I have no bottoms to go with the top that I plan to wear to Daddy Owl's company Christmas party tomorrow night. Yikers! You mean I have less than 24 hours to look fabulous?? As the skunk streak is still in my hair and I don't believe it will be the type of party where I can get by without something covering my bottom half, I'm starting to panic. When will I have time to shop for something? Do I already own anything adequate? Oh no - what about shoes? Breathe in, breathe out. Anybody seen the Advil?